as i stare at my feet

[PaRkA]

this is a little self righteous but i thought i would post it anyway....

today I climbed this wall
when i got to the top i could see
That there was nothing left for me
All that I had hoped
And everything I wished to be
To get away to this side and change
Now I see the change has to be in me
Cause nothing on the otherside will help
And on the fall down and the bounce
All that I am is crushed
It stopped everything I thought I could be
And as I now look to the distance I see nothing but grey
No more black and white
No clearing in the haze
No clear road no train of thought
No way out
All that I was and everything that I looked to be
Gone in a flash no trace of me
Now that it seems I have nowhere to go
And I have no road to lead
I will sit here till I start to bleed
Maybe my stain that I leave will be the guide
Of a soul so unfortunte
A soul that shows so much pain
A soul just like me

[PaRkA]

I don’t think there could ever be a heart as broken as me
And if there was it should be left to bleed
And not leave this man distained in his disbelief
For nothing that I have seen will keep this man from greif
So hard to swallow when there is so much pain to receive
And no one will understand the weight that this heart leaves
The blood it pumps synthetic, unreal
The feelings that it perceives pathetic, nowhere near the real deal...

[PaRkA]

MY OWN SAFE
MY COMBINATION MISSING
ALL MY FEELINGS LOST INSIDE
NOT EVEN DYNAMITE CAN CHANGE MY MIND
I NEED TO LOOK INSIDE
TO FIND WHAT IM TRYING TO HIDE
I COULD NEVER SEE WHAT I WANTED TO BE
THAT SOMETHING IS SO FAR AWAY FROM ME

[PaRkA]

sorry for the caps i got lazy....

HOW COULD I NOT BELIEVE THE PAIN I FELT
I COULD NEVER SEE
HOLLOW LIKE MY INSIDES
AN EMPTY SPACE LEFT TO PONDER
MY STRENGTH CAN NOT HOLD UP
THE WEIGHT THAT SITS ON MY SHOULDERS
THIS STRAIN MOVES TO COVER MY FACE
ENCLOSING THIS PAIN LEAVING ME WITH NOTHING ELSE
MY STOMACH CHURNS
AS THE PUSH TO BE WITH YOU BURNS
THIS STING THROWS BOLTS THRU ME
AS THE URGE TO CRY ENVELOPES ME
NEVER BEING ABLE TO SAY ANYTHING
EVERY WORD I HAVE SAVED
IS LOST SOMEWHERE IN MY HEAD
THEY ARE ALL FOR YOU
ILL LET THEM OUT
SO THEY CAN ATTACK YOU
SO YOU CAN FEEL HOW I FELT...

[.honeyspider.]

wow thats really good.

;D