|
Post by .honeyspider. on Jun 6, 2003 13:06:23 GMT 7
i dont know if anyone else has this problem, but me, personally, i always seem to misunderstand people. badly.... and it gets me into trouble, and it hurts people and it hurts me.. and i dont know how to stop it happening... i seem to assume too much about people who care for me, and i assume bad things, *like they dont really want to listen to me or love me etc* and it hurts them and it hurts me.. a lot. does anyone else have this problem.. or if you dont, can u give some advice on the topic. i know it is a communication thing, which i also seem to have a problem with, but it goes deeper than that with me... i wish i could stop it! help! wheres dr phil when u need him hey jesse?
|
|
|
Post by SPchick on Jun 6, 2003 13:17:26 GMT 7
Its all about communication. I think misunderstandings happen when either or both parties are not communicating properly. If you dont say how you really feel or whats really going on, then one person will assume one thing and the other person will assume another thing and your left with a huge misunderstanding, which can blow up into something huge.
You've just gotta talk about whats going on, be honest and that will lower the chances of having a misunderstanding.
- now thats as sensible as I am going to get today, I shall now return to spinning around in circles and screeching. xxx
|
|
|
Post by demi sex god from hell on Jun 10, 2003 20:21:32 GMT 7
i allways asume the worst too, not just about people, but situations too. i think i do it so i'm never suprised, and if i am its always a good suprise. that is so emotionally unhealthy... all that worrying... and i don't know how to fix it either...
but in my experience is that if something is bothereing me about a friend or a partner, i try to talk it out. sometimes talk doesn't work and its easier to walk away and cut your losses.
lol, i'll go watch letterman for some "dr phil words of wisdom" and get back to ya!
|
|
|
Post by .honeyspider. on Jun 11, 2003 9:46:05 GMT 7
yeh u seem to be pretty similar to me jesse.. thats why u understand so well hehe thanks for the help u two little angels *kiss* luv ya lots! xx d xx p.s. my trev leaves for qld tomorrow.... noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!
|
|
|
Post by AlmostOz on Jun 14, 2003 7:34:15 GMT 7
ASS/U/ME
|
|
syringe mouth
blissed + gone
Hard Ni Sasete
vocoder yr mum
Posts: 487
|
Post by syringe mouth on Jun 14, 2003 8:36:09 GMT 7
"dr phil's words of wisdom" "From this point forward I want you to start living as a gay woman" There are 95 nuggets of Dr Phil's wisdom here: www.aa-pahoehoe.com/drphil.html
|
|
|
Post by .honeyspider. on Jun 19, 2003 12:38:41 GMT 7
ok ... miss vic where the hell are u when i need u? *winks* lol (sorry jesse it had to be said )
|
|
Carlie
zero
aNGeLiC fRUitCakE
Posts: 199
|
Post by Carlie on Jun 20, 2003 22:31:18 GMT 7
i allways asume the worst too, not just about people, but situations too. i think i do it so i'm never suprised, and if i am its always a good suprise. that is so emotionally unhealthy... all that worrying... and i don't know how to fix it either... I'm the same hey. i dont have a lot of self confidence so i always expect the worse in situations. Its not good, but if i could change the way i feel i would. It sucks because sometimes i get my self really upset over shit that doesnt even end up happening... i guess it all comes down to being reassured. I agree with SPchick tho... missunderstandings are just results of a break (not necisarily a big one) in communication. Hmm.... why does everything have to be so hard
|
|
|
Post by demi sex god from hell on Jun 21, 2003 18:07:15 GMT 7
I'm the same hey. i dont have a lot of self confidence so i always expect the worse in situations. Its not good, but if i could change the way i feel i would. It sucks because sometimes i get my self really upset over shit that doesnt even end up happening... i guess it all comes down to being reassured. I agree with SPchick tho... missunderstandings are just results of a break (not necisarily a big one) in communication. Hmm.... why does everything have to be so hard exactly, why do we get so upset about things that don't even happen. its like something happens and we take it in our minds and run 2 million different variables in to and let our imaginations takes us for a ride. and its often down the the worst possible road and we become fixated. i try not to do this but sometimes it happens. its annoying.
|
|
|
Post by PaRkA on Jun 21, 2003 18:19:55 GMT 7
yeah what he said
|
|
|
Post by .honeyspider. on Jun 23, 2003 9:02:39 GMT 7
omg carlie i know what u mean *obviously koz i started this thread lol* but just lettin u know im on the same wavelength here!
|
|
Carlie
zero
aNGeLiC fRUitCakE
Posts: 199
|
Post by Carlie on Jun 25, 2003 19:47:09 GMT 7
Its good to hear i'm not the only one!
|
|
|
Post by AlmostOz on Jul 15, 2003 18:35:35 GMT 7
are u talking as in female to male misunderstandings?
|
|
Carlie
zero
aNGeLiC fRUitCakE
Posts: 199
|
Post by Carlie on Jul 16, 2003 21:09:07 GMT 7
uh, yeah!
You males are just so confusing. I spose you probably feel the same about chicks! i dont really know how to explain this... but ive come to the conclusion that we just think in totally different ways. And so maybe when we communicate with the oppisite sex, we dont realise the information they need to know to put their minds to rest. .... *Am i making any sence??* ---- So like maybe because you guys cant be bothered or dont think to do something for us (just because you dont do it for your mates) we get all parranoid and think that it means something bad's goin down! And then one thing leads to anothert and sometimes nasty arguments are the result! It sucks, i know, i wish it weren't the case. And what makes the situation even more gay is that guys dont even realise when they do it, so they can't fix their mistakes.
I hope that makes some kind of sence!!!
|
|
|
Post by blue_june_destroyer on Jul 17, 2003 11:55:08 GMT 7
uh, yeah! ...And what makes the situation even more gay is that guys dont even realise when they do it, so they can't fix their mistakes. it makes the situation more homosexual? I don't understand... because the only thing that could be described as "gay" is something pertaining to or of a homosexual or homosexuality.
|
|
Carlie
zero
aNGeLiC fRUitCakE
Posts: 199
|
Post by Carlie on Jul 17, 2003 12:13:34 GMT 7
ok, i dont mean gay as in homosexual. what i meant was annoying... or as in what makes the situation suck even more...
|
|
|
Post by AlmostOz on Jul 17, 2003 13:32:14 GMT 7
"but ive come to the conclusion that we just think in totally different ways" Its true ok pretend this. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend X. You get a call from an ex who says lets have coffee. So you ask Mr(s) X whether its ok if you go. and they say no, but you argue the point, and they give in by saying ok don't worry about it, just go. a guy saying that would mean that exactly at face value, go he now doesn't mind. a girl saying that means i don't want you to go still i just can't be bothered arguing and you will pay for this later. blah males think differently to females act differently, and almost all arguments in a relationship come from the fact taht males and females need different things in a relationship ie assurance for females, trust for males. but a male with give a female trust, which is something she doesn't need because he thinks, this is what i need so she needs it too. i can't be bothered explaining more, and no im not some freak show psychologist just read men are from mars women are from venus its quite amusing
|
|
|
Post by blue_june_destroyer on Jul 17, 2003 14:57:00 GMT 7
"but ive come to the conclusion that we just think in totally different ways" Its true ok pretend this. You have a boyfriend/girlfriend X. You get a call from an ex who says lets have coffee. So you ask Mr(s) X whether its ok if you go. and they say no, but you argue the point, and they give in by saying ok don't worry about it, just go. why would yew be having coffee with your ex anyway?
|
|
nitrousovercast
blissed + gone
the gloaming
we are accidents waiting to happen
Posts: 465
|
Post by nitrousovercast on Jul 17, 2003 18:42:53 GMT 7
lol one of my friends does that all of the time. "grimace is gay" "SOSE is gay" "look at that gay dog" ok well that last one's from jay and silent bob but you get my drift. its always interesting to see how people figure out the sexual preferences of inanimate objects etc.
|
|
|
Post by blue_june_destroyer on Jul 17, 2003 19:46:31 GMT 7
lol its always interesting to see how people figure out the sexual preferences of inanimate objects etc. I always find it really offensive --- I mean it's degradation of a term to describe homosexuality. People are so stupid sometimes,huh?
|
|
|
Post by AlmostOz on Jul 18, 2003 12:46:27 GMT 7
man thats straight.
|
|
nitrousovercast
blissed + gone
the gloaming
we are accidents waiting to happen
Posts: 465
|
Post by nitrousovercast on Jul 19, 2003 17:42:54 GMT 7
awww carlie's ok
|
|