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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 20, 2003 8:59:09 GMT 7
hey guys..
i was just thinking about this as it has been happening alot with trev and i recently... and i wanted to see other peoples views on it.
trev hasnt told his parents we have broken up. he just doesnt talk to them much about it and doesnt feel the great need to bring it up unless they do. i have told mine.. but i didnt tell them straight away.. i still see him every day and we spend most nights going out together seeing bands etc.
we have told all our close friends.. people who matter.. it has been a couple of months now.. but the reactions we get towards our friendship is still somewhat weird.
trevs parents always say stuff bout me being his 'girlfriend' or his dad asks him if hes 'serious' with me... and trev says 'we are just really good friends' but they still dont get it. meanwhile.. my parents say 'are you and trev back together?' because we still see each other and are best friends. thats cool.. i guess our parents have never been in a situation where they have broken up with someone and stayed the same way they were b4 they broke up.. (except less physical of course.. which is the main diff between mine and trevs rel/ship then compared to now)
our friends meanwhile... most of them are confused too. they constantly ask ' why arent u two together' and say ' whats going on with u and trev' 'are u with trev again' 'why are u spending so much time together' 'you look so good together'.. the list goes on.
why cant people accept that when u break up with someone.. u can still be closer than ever? i know it may be a weird concept for some/most people we are around because they all seem to think its so weird we are like this. however.. the thing im getting at is why cant people just accept the way u feel about someone.. we arent hurting anyone being the way we are. when people ask us questions bout our relationship we tell them. we are so open with it its not funny! ;D
but noone seems to ask. they just assume, and they just think we are wrong or something for doing what we are doing. its like they want us to be enemies or something.
i have never broken up with someone and felt so close to them. i feel happy with what we are doing. its not the norm but its good. it suits us. sure, it was trevs idea at first.. but we spoke about it even before we got together originally. and because trev and i share the sames views on it.. it works for us. we need each other. sure we will tone down things eventually.. if its right. but i dont get it why people are so shocked at the way we act around each other or the time we spend with each other.. or the love we share.
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nitrousovercast
blissed + gone
the gloaming
we are accidents waiting to happen
Posts: 465
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Post by nitrousovercast on Nov 20, 2003 13:10:02 GMT 7
i think that as long as you and trev are happy you should just do what feels right, never mind everything else. he's never going to find anyone else as good as you  |
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Post by toolgasm on Nov 20, 2003 13:16:45 GMT 7
I think that most people react the way they do, by saying stuff like "Why did you two break up in the first place? You're so good together" etc, cause the situation with you and Trev is really unique. It's probably the first relationship I've known about where the couple can break up and still manage to keep the love, friendship and fun, despite not officially going out anymore. Maybe some people feel it's wrong because it's not normal? If that's the case, people need to update their ideas. We're not living in the 50s anymore A lot of stuff happening these days wouldn't exactly be classed as "normal"... |
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Post by AlmostOz on Nov 20, 2003 19:26:08 GMT 7
i hate those sayings. they are intrusive, and expect an answer you cant give back to the person.
Im the opposite to you honeyspider.
I didn't tell my parents that i got back together with my girlfriend for two weeks, they seemed happy that id broken off. i was distant to kylie to show her that we were over, that we weren't as close, although i overexaggerated it like most people would.
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Post by kanzax on Nov 21, 2003 1:25:29 GMT 7
and i wanted to see other peoples views on it. why cant people accept that when u break up with someone.. u can still be closer than ever? permission to be brutally honest? or is this just another "feel good thread"? (awaiting reply) |
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Post by anti on Nov 21, 2003 6:44:41 GMT 7
i think you guys are lucky that you are such close friends,
i have bearly had any contact with any of my ex's after we broken up (which sometimes is a good thing)
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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 21, 2003 6:52:33 GMT 7
permission to be brutally honest? or is this just another "feel good thread"? (awaiting reply) nah its not another 'feel good thread' thanks.. and go for your life.. i wanted peoples comments on it... i didnt want a thread of 'how good is my friendship with trevor'.. i just want to know if this has happened to others and what they think. |
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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 21, 2003 6:54:31 GMT 7
i hate those sayings. they are intrusive, and expect an answer you cant give back to the person. Im the opposite to you honeyspider. I didn't tell my parents that i got back together with my girlfriend for two weeks, they seemed happy that id broken off. i was distant to kylie to show her that we were over, that we weren't as close, although i overexaggerated it like most people would. yeh i have heard of friends doin that too.. i guess u have to do what feels right huh? lol re. the saying.. yeh know what u mean. its ok asking for reasons why we broke up or why we arent together.. however the people asking are saying it like we SHOULD get back together even after hearing why we are broken up lol.. its stupid. |
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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 21, 2003 6:57:33 GMT 7
I think that most people react the way they do, by saying stuff like "Why did you two break up in the first place? You're so good together" etc, cause the situation with you and Trev is really unique. It's probably the first relationship I've known about where the couple can break up and still manage to keep the love, friendship and fun, despite not officially going out anymore. Maybe some people feel it's wrong because it's not normal? If that's the case, people need to update their ideas. We're not living in the 50s anymore A lot of stuff happening these days wouldn't exactly be classed as "normal"... thats pretty much what trev said lol. thanks josh  |
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Post by kanzax on Nov 21, 2003 11:25:43 GMT 7
nah its not another 'feel good thread' thanks.. and go for your life.. i wanted peoples comments on it... i didnt want a thread of 'how good is my friendship with trevor'.. i just want to know if this has happened to others and what they think. ok, so you and trevor arent going out? yet nothing has changed between you guys? thats all well and good, except what happens when trevor finds someone else? now, granted i dont know jack shite about the situation, im not saying i do, im just giving my opinion from someone who reads lj's and your posts. it seems to me that you arent exactly looking for someone else in your life, yet you are no longer officially dating trevor. to me it looks like its such a good break up because from your side of things you havent broken up. if nothing has changed then it cant qualify as a break up. what if trevor finds someone else? im not saying that he will (again, reinterating the fact i dont know the situation) but if he was so happy, then why arent you guys still dating? it looked like initally as if your relationship was a gradual slow down, but that kinda stopped somewhere. if youre relationship with trevor is just friends, then why are you constantly writing about him?bah theres more i want to say, but i think ive run my race for the moment. i think people get involved, donna, not because they want to bother you, but because they dont want to see you get badly hurt, and it looks like thats what you are setting yourself up for. |
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Post by blue_june_destroyer on Nov 21, 2003 18:32:51 GMT 7
ok, so you and trevor arent going out? yet nothing has changed between you guys? thats all well and good, except what happens when trevor finds someone else? now, granted i dont know jack shite about the situation, im not saying i do, im just giving my opinion from someone who reads lj's and your posts. it seems to me that you arent exactly looking for someone else in your life, yet you are no longer officially dating trevor. to me it looks like its such a good break up because from your side of things you havent broken up. if nothing has changed then it cant qualify as a break up. what if trevor finds someone else? im not saying that he will (again, reinterating the fact i dont know the situation) but if he was so happy, then why arent you guys still dating? it looked like initally as if your relationship was a gradual slow down, but that kinda stopped somewhere. if youre relationship with trevor is just friends, then why are you constantly writing about him?+ 1 I don't see the point in going on about it either. Personally and from a moderator/admin Point of View, I have to check this forum and make sure everything is going along as it should and I am sick to death of the "Trev's so great", "I love Trev" and "Why my relationship with Trev is unique" threads... This is a forum for everyone not just Trev's fan(s). Maybe we could have some fresh new threads with other people's perspectives not just every thread turning into a donna and trev's relationship thread. Posting about it all the time is not going to help you or anyone else. I'm not playing the bitch or the nazi, I just want to make the board that I run a fair board for the majority. |
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Post by sunky on Nov 21, 2003 18:54:27 GMT 7
without sounding to harsh, i agree with the above statements.
But - if you and Trev are happy doing it, then don't worry about what others think. Its your business and it should be discussed by others unless you want it too.
Donna, you seem to seriously care ALOT about Trev, but as life goes on are you both being fair to each other? If you have plans to get back together - then do it now, life is to short not to spend those special moments together now. Make the most of your time, let your feelings go and fun together. What is stopping you? if you BOTH care about each other, then nothing should stop you, but if you're not being honest with yourselves then its just gonna be dragged out.
The way i see it, and its not as simple as this i guess ... if you do couple things, and hang out alot, then why not be a couple and call yourself one. Have that commitment together and share it, and grow together as one. Not as two people.
Your posts about Trev are common, he is the one you love, and thats fine you care for him and you want to say it to the world - thats all good. But lately it doesn't seem to be a happy love, its seems like a struggle. You sometimes type how great your day was with him was great etc ... but yet you still feel sad. You shouldn't feel sad if you have just spent an amazing day with your Glass, i guess thats the feeling i get in your words sometimes.
you asked for opinions, you have them ... but in the end it up to you to how you live your life.
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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 22, 2003 15:40:03 GMT 7
fair enuf.
the reason why i talk about him alot is because we spend a lot of time together. i am still allowed to talk about my best friend arent i?.. look i know u guys arent trying to be bitchy about it so thats cool.... its just that i am not starting thread to 'brag' about trev or submit you all to crap about him all the time. i do talk about other things too.
kanzax.. u wrote "because from your side of things you havent broken up" thats NOT true. i know we have broken up. and i know we did because we werent happy together. we are happy how things are right now so thats all that matters to me. everyone has a right to voice their opinions.. all im doing is voicing mine, isnt that what im supposed to be doing here? anyway i guess not, as i can see i am being told i speak to much on this topic.
bree.. i see your point re ....
"I have to check this forum and make sure everything is going along as it should and I am sick to death of the "Trev's so great", "I love Trev" and "Why my relationship with Trev is unique" threads...
This is a forum for everyone not just Trev's fan(s). Maybe we could have some fresh new threads with other people's perspectives not just every thread turning into a donna and trev's relationship thread. Posting about it all the time is not going to help you or anyone else."
....however.. i am not trying to turn every thread into a donna/trev thread.. i just have seem to had experience in all the stuff people are talking about re. trev. im sorry i have bombarded your forum with my relationship views.
thanks for the comments guys.. and dont worry i wont be posting about this anymore. so you call rest easy.
xx d xx
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Post by toolgasm on Nov 22, 2003 15:57:24 GMT 7
Donna - maybe you could start up your own thread in here where you can post anything you want to about your relationship/friendship with Trev and how things are going? Just like Vic's Wacky Adventures or kanzax's Reply To This Thread...? P.S. That way it wouldn't get cluttered like Bree was saying. It'd all be in the one place, easy to find, easy to access |
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Post by .honeyspider. on Nov 22, 2003 16:38:20 GMT 7
Donna - maybe you could start up your own thread in here where you can post anything you want to about your relationship/friendship with Trev and how things are going? Just like Vic's Wacky Adventures or kanzax's Reply To This Thread...? P.S. That way it wouldn't get cluttered like Bree was saying. It'd all be in the one place, easy to find, easy to access a sweet thought josh.. but i think i get peoples point now.. they obviously dont wanna hear it so i will just leave it. i know that no-one really understands what is going on.. and it seems impossible to explain it. if anyone wants to talk to me, they know where to find me. i have spent too much time in here talking about MY relationships so ill just keep quiet for now. in the mean time.. i'm gonna give u a live journal code so u can keep up with the goss.. (my lj is friends only so i will have to add u as a friend once u have one) ill email u soon ok? xox d |
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