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Post by toolgasm on Mar 12, 2004 17:16:48 GMT 7
What do Ozphorians think about long distance relationships? I've been pondering whether they can work for a long time now and I still haven't reached a conclusion... My last major relationship was long distance (the person lived in Bendigo - so 8 hours away from Canberra) and it's possible that my next major one is shaping up to be a long distance one too (the person lives in Taree, near Port Macquarie - which is ironically 8 hours away from Canberra too, although the opposite way from Bendigo lol). I'm pretty keen on the person, but I'm not sure if I want to have a relationship, because I know what the distance can do to you... Help?
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 12, 2004 17:21:28 GMT 7
well mister, u know what i think.. and its a big go for it.. i have been in one or two long distance rel/ships and funnily enuf theyve lasted longer than short ones.. haha maybe im just annoying so they like being far away from me no seriously, its hard work, but it still CAN work.. if u both want it. i found with mine, one of us or both of us eventually decided we either move closer or break up.. its too hard to do it "long term".. but for the short/meduim term if u are both happy being a distance away, then go 4 it. your feelings shouldnt change just because of the distance.. oh and its fun meeting up when u've been away from someone 4 a while *wink wink* lots of built up sexual tension hehe ;D
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Post by anti on Mar 12, 2004 18:23:10 GMT 7
i dunno...
i live 40 mins away from my girlfriend and i consider that too long,
its hard when your depressed or just need support and you live too far away to see each other right then. Some times phone calls just arnt enough.
good luck though whatever you choose
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 14, 2004 18:49:59 GMT 7
Well you know my predicament I live in Goulburn (near Canberra) and he lives in Adelaide...though we are both moving to Melbourne ;D Advantages: You build the emotional side of the relationship without the concerns of the physical side. Physical can be great, but sometimes can hinder further connections if they are there right from the go. You can also find out more about each other and also learn how to communicate properly. Disadvantages: Well, you don't have that physical interaction and the affections that go with it. You can't just be there, without having to say anything, and just hold eachother. No hanging out, etc etc... There are always going to be pro's and con's to any relationship, no matter how close or how far. What really matters is if the feelings are mutual and if you are willing to make it work. I really like my guy, so much it hurts sometimes and we will be together no matter what. So even if you're not willing to commit because of the distance thing, you can still connect and gain an amazing relationship... One thing I noticed about me...I love my friends and because I was friends with my guy first I loved him as a friend. It developed into what it is now and I won't even bring love up until I've met in person and know that its the right time. There are so many levels and differences to all relationships, so really, whats not to say that you can't meet your soul mate and they can be many leagues distant. The modern world allows the playing field to be much smaller, so the chances of finding that special someone are much greater. I've been able to do both long distance and walking distance...and really, it wasn't the physical distance that stopped it from working, it was the emotional distance...
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stumbleine
blissed + gone
Night Mare
I can dance!
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Post by stumbleine on Mar 15, 2004 13:06:40 GMT 7
I've never been in a long distance romantic relationship, so I'm no expert on the situation. In some cases, it could work, but it wouldn't be easy. But for me, I don't think it could. I'd need a guy who was right there when I needed him or if he needed me. I like the physical contact when I'm about to fall apart rather than hearing their voice on the phone. Its not the same as having them hold you close when you feel like your insides are about to explode. Even to share the good times with. I like to see people's reactions when you talk to them. I can tell when people are lying to me, if they are standing right in front of me. I don't like the idea that they could be lying to me. I'm big on honesty. Say if you give them a gift and you have to send it to them. You can only hear the excitment in their voice rather than see their face light up when they open it. You miss out on that little bit of extra satisfaction of doing something nice for someone. Then again what should I know I get bored within 3 weeks. But whatever decision you make, make sure it feels right.
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Post by janeymonsta on Mar 16, 2004 0:27:08 GMT 7
they can work. with effort, i think more than u would put into the usual relationship. just gotta save ur $ and go visitinggg and such.
maybe i'm not the best person for advice on this. but um yes. they can work. just, not forever i dont think. inevitably your going to have to move to the same place. but that might be years down the track, and lots of people can hold out that long.
( how ironic that this is the topic i write in, this is my first post since... a year or so. welcome back me )
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 16, 2004 13:17:35 GMT 7
they can work. with effort, i think more than u would put into the usual relationship. just gotta save ur $ and go visitinggg and such. maybe i'm not the best person for advice on this. but um yes. they can work. just, not forever i dont think. inevitably your going to have to move to the same place. but that might be years down the track, and lots of people can hold out that long. ( how ironic that this is the topic i write in, this is my first post since... a year or so. welcome back me ) heh, yes very ironic miss janey... anyway i agree with u totally. and yeh i dont think im the best person to throw out some advice on this topic either seeing as i have had long dist rel/ships which havent worked.. but ahh well we live and learn huh? and just think, if u hadn'y of had YOUR long dist rel.ship.. you wouldn't have met me and that crazy one dreaded taxi driver in sydney hehe xxx
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Post by janeymonsta on Mar 16, 2004 21:57:48 GMT 7
heh, yes very ironic miss janey... anyway i agree with u totally. and yeh i dont think im the best person to throw out some advice on this topic either seeing as i have had long dist rel/ships which havent worked.. but ahh well we live and learn huh? and just think, if u hadn'y of had YOUR long dist rel.ship.. you wouldn't have met me and that crazy one dreaded taxi driver in sydney hehe xxx yes! that one dreaded taxi driver who threatened to take our beloved trev and beat him to a squidgy pulp right there on the main street of sydney at 1am.
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Post by toolgasm on Mar 17, 2004 7:48:18 GMT 7
I think that they can work, but it depends on what sort of long distance relationship it is. I've worked out that there are two types: 1. The two people live in the same city, like each other, go out, then one of them moves away or 2. The two people live in different cities, like each other, visit each other, decide to go out and maintain a a long distance relationship while living in different cities. I've only had option number 2, and this latest case is the same. I think it's really hard for those to work out, because I've found that no matter how much you talk on the phone or the net, every time you visit them it's like you have to get used to being in their presence all over again, and I've found that sometimes I can get really uncomfortable with having to do that. I spose the only hope for option number 2 is that you both aim to move to the same city one day, and then can hang out and do all the things associated with a normal relationship... I should really stop putting myself through torture like these long distance relationships lol, but it's just the good people always live so far away...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 17, 2004 9:03:26 GMT 7
Is it that only the good ppl live far away or is that they're good because they do live far away...? There are great ppl everywhere, it's just that when you aren't in each others company all the time you learn a few things differently then if they were just around the corner... *shrugs* You don't know that whats right in front of you is good sometimes because you're too busy looking towards that beautiful sunset on the horizon
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 18, 2004 13:33:28 GMT 7
yes! that one dreaded taxi driver who threatened to take our beloved trev and beat him to a squidgy pulp right there on the main street of sydney at 1am. hehe lucky i threw the money at him.. i was scared for trevors life that nite.. however i do believe trev thinks he couldve "taken on" the evil one dreaded creature of the night. haha what a great night. pffttt...
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 18, 2004 13:36:53 GMT 7
Is it that only the good ppl live far away or is that they're good because they do live far away...? There are great ppl everywhere, it's just that when you aren't in each others company all the time you learn a few things differently then if they were just around the corner... *shrugs* You don't know that whats right in front of you is good sometimes because you're too busy looking towards that beautiful sunset on the horizon oh so true.. distance makes the heart grow fonder anyway yes... my god i believe u so much. what a comment. it's so fricken true that people cant see whats "beautiful and perfect" in front of them.. it takes distance to see it sometimes.. because its a lot of nites spent on the phone longing to be together and at the same time learning all about each other, which sadly gets put to the background sometimes in rel/ships which are "closer in distance".. if u know what i mean.. so yes maybe we should be asking if "close distance" rel/ships are good ones? hehe.. nah i know they are good and bad like all rel/ships, but yes i have just started thinking about how things that are in long distance rel/ships moreso than "closer" ones are sometimes forgotten when u are closer.. and thats really sad hmm.. *ponders for a few moments* lucky the boy i'm interested in lives far away from me har har *evil grins*
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Mar 18, 2004 17:56:25 GMT 7
Yeah thats true that sometimes closer can lose the passion...but it really does always depend on the people in the relationship... Closeness hasnt worked for me so far, but then, they were arseholes hehe and thats also prolly why I ended up with them *does an Irish jig* But ah well, if you're in doubt, then chances are you should do it! No point in 'waiting' for life to start, live the adventure now! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 19, 2004 14:10:17 GMT 7
Yeah thats true that sometimes closer can lose the passion...but it really does always depend on the people in the relationship... Closeness hasnt worked for me so far, but then, they were arseholes hehe and thats also prolly why I ended up with them *does an Irish jig* But ah well, if you're in doubt, then chances are you should do it! No point in 'waiting' for life to start, live the adventure now! Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! that eeeeeeeeeeeeee has just inspired me to go for it anyway yes, i know what u mean, i have had no luck with the closer distanced relationships either.. hell, i have had no luck with long distance ones also it seems.. as i am now single oh and the arsehole thing.. hehe that made me giggle.. maybe thats what i do too.. one arsehole coming up please
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Post by psalmblackdecember on Apr 3, 2004 17:14:15 GMT 7
i could write a novel about the long distance relationship situation. but i coudlent really be bothered.
bottom line.
they dont really work..
unless your rich and can afford to fly and see each other all the time.
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curious
ghost child
I like to make noise.
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Post by curious on Apr 3, 2004 18:24:57 GMT 7
I was in a long distance relationship for three years, Sydney / Brisbane. For about nine months during, my partner lived here with me in Sydney. Be prepared to travel a lot - I used to fly a lot for work, so I could arrange my visits on weekend boundaries, but you may not be so lucky.
When K and I decided to go our separate ways, it wasn't because of the distance, but it didn't help either. LD relationships tend to be a bit more cerebral than some others because a lot of contact you'll have will be by voice only - so if the thing you like best about your partner is having a cuddle or similar, it may get difficult at times. Only you can make an informed choice, but don't be afraid of it. You're only young once, what have you got to lose?
Bryn.
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Post by toolgasm on Apr 25, 2004 16:43:41 GMT 7
Well I decided to go for it, so now I'm not single anymore. Yay! Only bad part is that I'm missing the person in question sooooo badly, and the next time we see each other won't be till July 1st, which seems like a very long way away at the moment... I guess once uni starts up again the time won't go so slow...
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Apr 26, 2004 3:55:12 GMT 7
Awww *hugs* Yeah, I have a month and a teeny little bit till I see Anthony again! Its ok when you don't think about it (very rarley happens, always thinking of him)...but then you miss talking to them on the phone...so you talk on the phone, and then you miss that you can't see them in person!! Argh! lol I think, if like we just stopped talking on the phone, it would be so much easier! lol...but then thatd suck, cause I wanna talk to him! *shrugs* ~b
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Post by .honeyspider. on May 3, 2004 11:07:57 GMT 7
Awww *hugs* Yeah, I have a month and a teeny little bit till I see Anthony again! Its ok when you don't think about it (very rarley happens, always thinking of him)...but then you miss talking to them on the phone...so you talk on the phone, and then you miss that you can't see them in person!! Argh! lol I think, if like we just stopped talking on the phone, it would be so much easier! lol...but then thatd suck, cause I wanna talk to him! *shrugs* ~b oh u poor poor things... a whole month? yikes! i can't even go a week without the man i love... i can't imagine how crappy it would be waiting a whole month to see him! ;D
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on May 4, 2004 5:59:26 GMT 7
Yeah it isn't easy!!! Just over 3 weeks to go!!! *sigh* But all is good, because after I get back from this wonderful trip, we're going to start planning our move to Melbourne where we can spend the rest of our lives together! YeY! *Sigh* So expensive though! lol
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Post by PaRkA on May 18, 2004 18:46:11 GMT 7
ive just recently taken a keen interest in this subject, because i may have to move 600 kys away from where i am now for work, it puts me in a position id rather not be...
my girlfriend cant come because of her commitments with uni
i really want to take this position because it will set me up nicely for the future
im afraid that i (and/or anne) will not stay faithful plainly because of the distance, im one of those people that like to cuddle, and i fear if i go without it im goin to stray
im goin to try so hard not too, but i can feel it
things are exactly kosher between me anne and i think this may push us towards the edge of breaking up, which im sensing that i will not deal with too well...
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Post by AlmostOz on May 19, 2004 7:42:25 GMT 7
don't you hate decisions like that? i think it depends on what love means to you, if it is one of the most important things in life to you, then whats money? you are rich because you have someone you love. but if you are materialistic, then youd probably take the job. im in a similar position, except we both live on the gold coast. we just don't get to see each other because of work and uni. if i lost my job and couldn't get another one, id have to go back to Christchurch, because i can't get the dole, im not a citizen (YET )
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Post by toolgasm on May 19, 2004 14:04:04 GMT 7
if i lost my job and couldn't get another one, id have to go back to Christchurch, because i can't get the dole, im not a citizen (YET ) Get out, kiwi. ;D
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adwah
ghost child
*whir* reformed rebuilt regurgitated
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Post by adwah on May 21, 2004 5:30:42 GMT 7
I was in a 3 year relationship which has now ended. The middle year was spent 4.5hours drive from eachother. and she didn't have a car then. so every weekend i could afford it (about every second) i drove to see her. I think she came to see me once. Anyway it wasn't the distance that broke us... we lived together for a year after that. It was that fact that we took eachother for granted things became monotonous... "two lost souls living in a fish bowl...." we wern't together because of love (although i loved her with everything i am and i still have a place in my heart for her) we were together because it was conveinent. So to everyone that finds love know that is is like an echo (muzzle) it must be initiated, reflected, returned, renewed.... and so on untill one person does not renew the echo for whatever reason. This is possible over a long distance. But i would say that to initiate a relationship as in spend the first year long distance would be harder....
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