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Post by Steve on Jan 19, 2008 9:27:37 GMT 7
In 2006 i started a relationship with someone, for 8 months we were together. It's my longest, i'm a romantic at heart, but never been one for relationships. Go figure...
She went on an overseas trip (which was planned way before) and during that time i had my 21st birthday - As sometimes happens, the speeches were not exactly PG rated. When she came back, we watched the video, she was not impressed. It led to arguments which led to us breaking up.
A week later, i was in tears asking for her back, she wouldn't have a bar of it.
A week after that, she was in tears telling me how she held back in the relationship and wanted me back to start over. 8 months of holding back? No way.
After that, we kinda hung out a bit which led to the obvious, and it was a lot better, i was having a lot of fun - Then i get word that i have to move to Sydney, game over.
I left for Sydney, she started a relationship with another guy, we remained really good friends...A week before i got back (December last year), they break up and she vows to move on. We have been hanging out a lot lately, including every day bar one this week. Same old jokes, same old fun (by fun i don't mean anything sexual, just as hanging out). Last nite we were out for 21st drinks and she was a little intoxicated and a guy was hanging with her for a lot of the nite. It was innocent as she apparently knew him and they are friends, but i just dawned on me, i haven't moved on.
We got back to hers (more people were on the way), I told her That i felt something tonite and i know it isn't fair on her, but it makes me realise something.... She mentioned how she is single now....I just fucking broke down and told her i need to go home, with tears running down my face.
I went outside, a friend stopped me and talked to me, i got home, opened a drink and listened to music until 5am alone.
I'm not sure if it's just a case of "unfinished business", and who knows what happens now. I wish i could ring or see her, but i need to just relax. I feel it's a silly thing i've done, but i just broke down - It wasn't planned.
A fair ramble, I just needed to get that out - Typing that made me realise how much i value everyone here, I've been around a long time now and like someone said in this forum, i really do love this place.
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Post by Tragic Ether on Jan 27, 2008 19:30:12 GMT 7
Hope your unloading helps dude!
Hold strong man.
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Post by Cygnet on Jan 27, 2008 21:09:27 GMT 7
Wow Steve, thats hard, hope everything works out ok
I must say im in a similar position at the moment.. Well not really, but just issues with an ex... the ex, the only one that ever really meant anything anyway.
Ill indulge myself and give you my long winded account anyway
So basically theres a girl who i went out with when we were at high school, it didnt last that long, but for the time it lasted it was amazing, there were just way too many factors against it working. We remained friends and over time probably became even closer, but she developed a lot of self issues and there was never a time ive known her when she hasnt been involved with someone for any longer than a month or so, which was really tough because i had unfortunately maintained my feelings towards her. Time passed and things happened and everything became worse, she kept making the same mistakes and i was always the one waiting when she fell, but i became shut off and started doubting myself (even moreso than i had been as an angsty teenager) anyway, eventually it all blew up and i told her i didnt want to speak to her anymore and we both went off for a year without any contact at all save for one instance when she tried to contact me. I pretty much managed to completely get on with my life, i stopped thinking about her, everything was fine.
Come my birthday a few months back and i recieve a package in the mail with nothing giving me any hint as to what it is or who its from until i open it and realise that its from her, and enclosed is a note basically saying that shes more sorry than i can imagine and some things will never change.
Everything came flooding back and i went into a spiral of just trying to shut myself off so i didnt have to think about it. I decided that to do something like that must have taken courage and that it at least deserves some kind of response so i sent her a letter explaining my position, and get one back almost immediately briefly outlining what has been happening in her life for the past year.
After a week or 2 of twoing and froing i decide to attend a friends party that im fully aware shell be at.
We start talking, everythings nice and polite, i decide i want to at least talk to her properly so we end up going to hers after everyones left and talking for several hours, getting out what we needed to. It was getting late and i knew i should be going for fear of things progressing further than i was comfortable with, but against my better udgement i stayed probably half an hour too late and we ended up kissing. i said i was sorry and that i couldnt do it, i couldnt be in that situation anymore, she understands and i head home.
We kept in contact, and things were ok, then one day i caught something and i knew that she had really changed. I dont know how, but i just knew, it was no case of me telling myself what i wanted to hear, i just knew.
So eventually, we got back together, and thigs were generally going pretty well, but i kept allowing the niggling doubts of what has happened in the past get the better of me, and quite honestly wasnt treating her with the respect she deserves. One night for whatever reason i flipped out over something really pety and stupid and i told her that i wasnt as involved in the relatiuonship[ as i should be, we had a massive blow up just before she was leaving for a conference in perth for 2 weeks.
I spent the last few weeks actually coming to terms with how i felt about her, and realised just how much she really means to me but felt like it was too late and that id messed everything up. This wasnt helped by the guilt i was racked with for how id made her feel. I dont think ive ever felt so terrible about something ever, only once have i ever hurt anyone like that before and this time it really sunk in...
So anyway, she got back on tuesday, we kinda sorted things out except that i lost my shit and probably sounded like a small child for some period.
We agreed t osettle things down for a while, which is definitely a good move however much i might want it to be otherwise, im just grateful i have the opertunity to prove myself afgain, because i wouldnt have blamed her if she just called it quits, but the points she made were actually exactly what i neede to hear and it only strengthened my belief in her.
So thats me right now, we'll see if i can get my shit together and make a shot of things.
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Post by sunky on Jan 28, 2008 7:42:17 GMT 7
Sorry to hear things aren't going so smoothly, glad you can't rant here though. If you can be honest with yourselves and each other from day 1 in a relationship, it will always be strong and work. By you guys talking to your partners now and telling them how you feel, then thats setting up that relationship to be a strong one.
keep us posted.
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Post by *Shard of Glass* on Jan 28, 2008 14:51:38 GMT 7
I have a nasty ex still bugging me....
I'll vent a little bit if I may:
She meet me on the net, and we talked for a couple of weeks before we arranged to meet up in person. We did and it went well, a few days later we officially start dating. I was pretty smitten, she was so many things I wanted to find in another person. We were able to discuss our pasts and problems, etc. and it was great to share, it meant a lot to me. She said how grateful she was to be with some so good to her. So I was pretty pleased.
She had apparently been "stalking" me she admitted to me a bit later, I thought it was kinda cute, but in the back of my mind my instincts and alarm bells were ringing. I ignored them.
The first month of so was so good, she made things so easy and could relate to her on a level which I thought was promising. But one night, it was as if a light switch had been flicked, she changed instantly. At first she became dstant, and we talked about that, she said she was just trying to protect me from her mood swings. But (to cut a long story short), things spiraled down very quickly. She refused to see me, accused me of having "warped" thinking (because Im a diabetic- i dunno that was all about). She started talking to people behind my back, saying things id told her in private and confidance. She accused me of being violent (which I'm not and I was terreibly hurt by that) I would never do anything like that. While I was away in QLD.for the weekend she threatended to kill herself while I was gone, and made threats against me and her own family.
When I got back I tried to talk with her about it, I thought we had things settled so she could get help, but she got worse again, told me she was cutting herself becuase of me. So thats when I got out.
For a couple of weeks after that she would send abusive messages, and the like. I ignored them. She told me I should never had trusted her and I cant be in a relationship becuase I have too many hang-upsand issues (I mean what the fuck???). And now she's dating a friend of a friend of mine, only a day or so after we finished. So I dunno how that works, the guy isn't all that bright.
Its made me feel pretty shit. I was gutted for awhile. I had some contact with her last b/f family, apperently she'd been doing similar things with him, (made a fake suicide attempt). So now I'm dealing with gossip issues, pehaps. Her b/f will think im an asshole (like I thought the last b/f before me was - its what she does)
After new years, she sent me a very friendly msg. out of the blue. I took everyones advice and didn't reply, which set her off again, I've been recieving nasty messages again.
Sooooo, thats the kind of thing I've been dealing with the past 2 months. I kinda want some revenge somehow. I've had to keep a lot of the texts and stuff as evidence in case she ever tries to do anything, or claim anything.
Any advice peoples?
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Post by Tragic Ether on Jan 29, 2008 17:36:46 GMT 7
Shard old son; shes got issues - bad ones.
For one - it seems like she desperately needs attention. And if youre not constantly giving it to her - she'll move on til someone is.
Ignore her - is my best advice. Let her family know the sorts of things she has been saying/doing re: threats and whatnot. Theyre her family, they have to deal with her. You shouldnt have to.
You seem like a nice enough guy that doesnt deserve to have to put up with this shit.
You should also warn your mate that shes currently seeing about what to expect. Youre not much of a mate if you say 'I told you so' without giving him fair warning.
All the best dude!
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Post by *Shard of Glass* on Jan 31, 2008 8:52:36 GMT 7
Oh I think he already believes the lies she's told him about me. Plus he's not really a friend of mine.
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Post by cherryonion on Mar 4, 2008 10:52:42 GMT 7
I'm female and I'm 24.
I'd like to point out that so many girls are drama queen/nut jobs who constantly seek attention and create their own dramas as if they are a soap show wanting good ratings. Stay away from them! I think this behaviour fades with maturity, but watch out for these crazies. They generally like guys who are super nice and possibly easy to manipulate. When you see the first signs of this, RUNNNN!
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Post by blue_june_destroyer on Mar 4, 2008 15:02:34 GMT 7
I think this behaviour fades with maturity, but watch out for these crazies. Sometimes the crazies stay crazy and manipulative because they got their own way acting like that before so why the hell stop doing what works... It's sad and if only these girls realised they'd be better off by treating people as they wish to be treated. Guys, I'm sorry. I think women are just as confused by men as men are confused by women. |
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Post by Tragic Ether on Mar 5, 2008 17:22:07 GMT 7
Please, Bree!
Men are easy. You find out what their thing is - wether it be footy, motorbikes, star wars, or haberdashery - let them have their time doing whatever it is - then be there for the rest.
Plus it helps if you cook and clean and fulfill your bedroomly duties.
Hahaha - no seriously - youre kinda right, Men are basically the same as Women - but with less mood swings.
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Post by Steve on Mar 7, 2008 5:10:31 GMT 7
Funny thing - The girl i started this post about, she asked for me to hook up tickets to the Adelaide SP show, she is very...well not musically inspired shall we say, so it was interesting. She will be in the seats with my sister. I made her up a couple of CD's and saw her last night so we will see if i can turn another person into an SP tragic  |
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Post by AlmostOz on Mar 10, 2008 18:55:48 GMT 7
good luck steve! "if you set it free and it returns it was meant to be and if it doesn't it was meant to be free" im not sure if quiting te b0lly from vh1 storytellers helps but it sounds good  |
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Post by Steve on Mar 10, 2008 19:03:18 GMT 7
Thanks!
The connection is still there, at this point of my life, i think i'm ok with that.
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Post by blue_june_destroyer on Mar 11, 2008 9:22:24 GMT 7
good luck steve! "if you set it free and it returns it was meant to be and if it doesn't it was meant to be free" I don't agree with that quote. From my experience, if it doesn't work out then it's just not meant to be... there's a higher reason it's not meant to work. |
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Post by AlmostOz on Mar 11, 2008 13:21:49 GMT 7
well it did work for me once before, but it is a big risk to take.
but when i did that i was sick of hanging on and forcing it to work, and it was me setting myself free in a sense, and then i returned and never looked back
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Post by ablankpage on Mar 29, 2008 12:29:41 GMT 7
I'm female and I'm 24. I'd like to point out that so many girls are drama queen/nut jobs who constantly seek attention and create their own dramas as if they are a soap show wanting good ratings. Stay away from them! I think this behaviour fades with maturity, but watch out for these crazies. They generally like guys who are super nice and possibly easy to manipulate. When you see the first signs of this, RUNNNN! I think I need to take this advice! lol |
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Post by boelsen on Apr 3, 2008 15:18:15 GMT 7
Funny thing - The girl i started this post about, she asked for me to hook up tickets to the Adelaide SP show, she is very...well not musically inspired shall we say, so it was interesting. She will be in the seats with my sister. I made her up a couple of CD's and saw her last night so we will see if i can turn another person into an SP tragic any post gig updates? |
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Post by Josh on Apr 3, 2008 15:42:35 GMT 7
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Post by Steve on Apr 6, 2008 20:10:35 GMT 7
Haha oh Scotty
She asked to catch up for Dinner Wednesday - As friends i would assume.
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Post by *Shard of Glass* on Apr 7, 2008 8:04:22 GMT 7
Haha oh Scotty She asked to catch up for Dinner Wednesday - As friends i would assume. Well thats somethingn tho steve. Have a nice time. |
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Post by Steve on Apr 7, 2008 8:09:36 GMT 7
Thanks buddy!
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Post by *Shard of Glass* on Apr 7, 2008 8:37:22 GMT 7
No probs pal!  |
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Post by Tragic Ether on Apr 7, 2008 19:28:10 GMT 7
She probably heard about your new job and now she wants a Sugar Daddy!
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