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Post by PaRkA on Feb 19, 2003 18:31:25 GMT 7
now i have been single for a bit (read: too long to actually remember), and i can say that there are times when i like being single, i say that on the theory that i have never really experienced a relationship (proper), but i know that there are times when you want some one to talk to, someone that knows your history, your experiences, and enjoys being there with you through the new ones. im getting to a stage now where being single is ruling my head and pissing me off to no end.
please feel free to discuss..
and keep it real, im talking the real deal here, the simon and bree deal (sorry to use you guys as an example, but from where i stand it doesnt get much better than what you two have), im not talking your average "hi, hows it goin wanna fuck" i want this to go deeper that that. "this" being the relationship that im after. and this discussion.
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Post by PaRkA on Feb 19, 2003 18:37:38 GMT 7
to start my own debate and to elaborate on the above...
i just want to be able to come home and just expell, tell this person absolutley everything, every last detail, i want to be able to receive there advice which i know is totally unbias and truthful, to the point that they just want me to be the best person i can by helping me in anyway possible, even if it means telling me what i dont neccesarily want to hear, but them telling me is enough to know its right.
i hope this makes sense..
i want to be able to give and receive hugs ad nausium till my arms fall off...
actually to cut it finer i just want to know that i maybe make someone feel this very same way.
that is all for now.
thank you for your time
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Post by point on Feb 19, 2003 22:02:01 GMT 7
You know what, that is EXACTLY the way i feel. EXACTLY. It all seems so simple to me, but so hard to put into practice (i find it difficult communicating my thoughts to others too, so that makes it harder). It is so good when someone comes along and just says what you have always felt. I have been single now for 3 years 9 months. It seems i have growen up, growen out, lived life, and throwen it all away in that time. I know what i have to do, how to get myself on track again, i just dont want to. I feel too burned out/up.
I want to be with someone, but i have to ask myself "would that be a good idea". I mean, would it be fair on them to be with someone like me at the moment. I have to think that i would deffinently be a better lover than some, but not the best i could be. But will i ever be that person? Then i think, what about people who have never been out of a relationship (as opposed to never been in one, a proper one). Would they wonder what it is like being single? It must be scary for them. It is scary for me, looking the other way. I have just got myself back into some sort of routine, doing the things that i like, doing what i want when i want. Sure i get lonely, its a good thing i cant really afford any drugs or anything.
It looks like i might have a friend moving in with me. He seems to be on the same trip as me. he is on antideppresants and his parents are giving him lots of hass. I figure he is where i was at about 16 months ago. We might be able to learn something from each other.
Anyway, back to the issue. I try to forget, it helps me get through the day. The last girl i was with (the young one), i still think of her everyday (at least 2 times, average, per day), and what could have/might have been. Do you get what i am feeling, i think it is similar to you.
Question - What do you hate most about your life?
Answer - Constantly having to fend off the idea that i'm a pessimest, idealest, etc........ Past bored, i am just too tired to save face!
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Post by blue_june_destroyer on Feb 22, 2003 13:54:37 GMT 7
please feel free to discuss.. im talking the real deal here, the simon and bree deal (sorry to use you guys as an example, but from where i stand it doesnt get much better than what you two have)... Thank you so much Parka... I guess we do have a pretty good relationship --but as the path to true love is never smooth, we like other couples have our share of disagreements and little petty issues but never arguments. I know what you mean though... when I was single all I wanted was to have someone to unload everything that was bothering me and everything i was thinking, so that I could get some truthful and honest feedback. After 7 months I'd have to say that Simon knows me better than my own mother and indeed my own friends. Having a partner in love to me is also a partner in life... the person whom you eventually fall in love with becomes not only your everything but also your best friend. You rely on them to a certain extent and there are some days when you don't think you can survive without them. All I will leave you with is this: Everything happens when you least expect it and stop looking... it worked for both Simon and I... *hugs* we love ya, mister. |
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Skeenie
ghost child
beautiful freak
Posts: 16
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Post by Skeenie on Feb 23, 2003 17:16:53 GMT 7
"now i have been single for a bit (read: too long to actually remember), and i can say that there are times when i like being single,
but i know that there are times when you want some one to talk to, "
-pugsuperstar
damn straight there, being single is the original double edged sword. I too have been single for a very long time now with no apparent end to it either.
Out of being single or in a relationship, being in a relationship wins hands down. For all the benefits of having all your time and money to yourself it doesnt compare to the associated feelings of having a partner.
Its hard not to become cynical at some point when you're a long term single, I feel. Especially if you've had your heart broken previously. When you are single and love is hard to find it can become pretty depressing at times. Every time you get a knockback, it makes it harder to approach the next girl you find interesting.
At times I question my looks, my personality and try hard to figure out what I'm doing wrong.
I am not suprised that people I know stay in dead-end or bad relationships, because they consider it is better than the alternative.
What I would love is to find a girl who has similar interests and outlook on life, that would be even remotely interested in me enough to give it a chance. Sounds a reasonable enough thought to me.
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Post by SPchick on Feb 23, 2003 17:57:34 GMT 7
I wouldnt suggest staying in a bad relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. When I was younger I stayed in a bad/emotionally abusive relationship for two years. I do not reccomend it to anyone.
I havent spent much time being single over the years, right now I am in what looks to be my third long term relationship. I'm a big fan of the whole relationship thing, I like being able to share my life with someone I care about. I like even more that Jesse is that special person in my life.
meh, enough sappy gear.
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Post by psalmblackdecember on Feb 24, 2003 21:44:56 GMT 7
i'm probably not the best person to enter this debate.
but i guess i will throw in my two sense.
i dont understand relationships the same way other people do i guess... and to tell you the truth i'm scared shitless of them.
in my eyes relationships are great/amazing.. but the pain that comes when that person leaves you wieghs up and allmost negates it.
but yeah.. this is coming from me who probably hasnt had the most loving experences in relationships.
this is just my 2 cents, do what you will with it
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Post by point on Feb 24, 2003 23:17:32 GMT 7
Every little peice of information is relevant. Never disregaurd anything. Your experiences (no matter how insignificant they may seem) are as important as anyones, unless of course you watch Home and Away/Neighbours/etc.
:music:
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Post by demi sex god from hell on Feb 25, 2003 11:01:02 GMT 7
i try and model my relationships after the way harold and madge loved each other... i would shake my chin and tell her to clean the coffee shop... she would talk in that husky man voice and tell me to stop playing the tuba... its bliss. don't dismiss soapies like that...
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Post by demi sex god from hell on Feb 25, 2003 11:05:51 GMT 7
but seriously: I like being able to share my life with someone I care about. I like even more that Jesse is that special person in my life. having someone enriches your life so much. thank you vic for enriching mine. |
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Post by SPchick on Feb 25, 2003 17:05:38 GMT 7
Its true, Jesse and I pretend to be Harold and Madge all the time  Sometimes Lou comes over, sometimes even Toadie! woohoo But yeah, since Madge died its just gotten way weirder.... pssh... men and their fantasies  |
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Post by point on Feb 25, 2003 21:45:17 GMT 7
Hail Hail.............
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Post by PaRkA on Mar 3, 2003 17:18:11 GMT 7
do you think reverse phsycology is a way to seek interest??
i mean if i dont show interest to them maybe/hopefully the show interest towards me.
it sounds silly i know but its a debate and every option should be reviewed.
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Post by point on Mar 4, 2003 1:57:57 GMT 7
It doesn't work for me, everyone just thinks i'm totally fucking mad!
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Post by blue_june_destroyer on Mar 4, 2003 12:17:54 GMT 7
It doesn't work for me, everyone just thinks i'm totally fucking mad! ...you might wanna look into that... |
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Post by point on Mar 4, 2003 22:43:54 GMT 7
See, i spose it does work.
I wouldn't suggest trying it though if that interest you are trying to attract you are planning on spending lots of time with.
It can work for personal gain though, if you have nothing left to lose. The adrenalin rush can be somewhat overwhelming, and therapudic in a strange hate/love sort of way.
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trev
blissed + gone
Posts: 602
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Post by trev on Mar 5, 2003 13:53:39 GMT 7
Hmmmmm........
i hate being single, really really really REALLY hate it, but, unfortuatley it looks like i will be for at least another couple of years....
Well, i agree, being in a relationship is the best thing in the world, but i also agree with nick, sometimes it's not worth it if it's going to end badly, the hurt overpowers the joy.
So even though i would absolutely love to be in a relationship, i REALLY don't want to be in a relationship that will end badly. So i guess i'm just sorta nowhere.... hoping that something will happen that at least has a good chance of lasting or not hurting me. But i'm not holding my breath.....
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Jay
blissed + gone
Hero of Time
Pay attention....
Posts: 505
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Post by Jay on Mar 12, 2003 19:28:03 GMT 7
Hmmmmm........ i hate being single, really really really REALLY hate it, but, unfortuatley it looks like i will be for at least another couple of years.... Well, i agree, being in a relationship is the best thing in the world, but i also agree with nick, sometimes it's not worth it if it's going to end badly, the hurt overpowers the joy. So even though i would absolutely love to be in a relationship, i REALLY don't want to be in a relationship that will end badly. So i guess i'm just sorta nowhere.... hoping that something will happen that at least has a good chance of lasting or not hurting me. But i'm not holding my breath..... well said!!! |
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Post by soundslikequiet on Mar 22, 2003 13:55:25 GMT 7
Your experiences (no matter how insignificant they may seem) are as important as anyones, unless of course you watch Home and Away/Neighbours/etc. I watch Neihbours religiously. Sod off. PS - Home and Away is trash. ;D |
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Post by PaRkA on Mar 28, 2003 16:34:09 GMT 7
well i would just like to say to all those ppl (none of them here tho, but im going to say it anyway) who think that i should let my hair grow BUZZ BUZZthats the sound of clippers cutting all my hair off... |
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Post by SPchick on Mar 29, 2003 16:08:11 GMT 7
Ohhh bald again are you sir?
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Post by PaRkA on Mar 29, 2003 17:59:14 GMT 7
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Post by thatpumpkinschic on Mar 30, 2003 8:01:33 GMT 7
good on ya parka. don't let people tell you what to do. |
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Post by .honeyspider. on Mar 31, 2003 11:41:47 GMT 7
i agree with what u guys are saying but i ont think u need to be in a relship to experience that kind of love and longing that u are after.. take me and warren 4 example.. we are so close its scarey and he knows me better than anyone i know and i love him deeply and i love being around him.. but whether we are together as in a 'couple' or not, we have this understanding and closeness that is so special and like he said to me a couple of wks ago.. we know, even when we are not together that we have something special and we will always have each other. its so good to find someone like that when all my life i have been searching for this 'perfect guy' who would love me and we'd be soulmates etc.. when a friend who is exactly that is sitting under my nose. so what im tryin to say is, you dont need to be in a relship to have those things u so dearly want/need. if it doesnt make sense im sorry i just wanted to let u know my view on the single/relship thing, and that it can be good either way  its taken me a long time to accept that you can be happy and have everything u want being single and i have been with many dodgy guys and been in very bad relships just koz i was too scared to be alone and not have someone.... and i finally know now that i can have all that being single or being in a relship... dont get me wrong i feel right now that i would love to be in a relship.. and if i had the choice.. i would choose being in a relship with warren than just being friends... but either way we have found each other and we are life partners whether it be friends or lovers so its ok.. omg this is turning into a long post... u get my point tho... ;D |
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Post by SPchick on Mar 31, 2003 19:50:07 GMT 7
I understand what you are saying Donna, and its true, You dont HAVE to be in a relationship with someone to share in the joy of love. (-how LAME does that sound? Lame is me)
You can experience all the feelings of love and closeness, just knowing someone. However, I think that when your in a relationship you can express these feelings and act on them. Which is nice.
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Post by .honeyspider. on Apr 1, 2003 5:39:40 GMT 7
thats so true vic.. and i just lurvvve expressing feelings thats why i said i would rahter be in a relship with warren than out of one.. but there are times when u just need a hug or someone to fall asleep on, and i know he'd be there either way.. whether its to just lay with me or to get down and dirty haha ;D ;D so it's all good.. i know i will always have him so i am happy with anything that involves us being together nah u know what i mean tho... and personally i think the best relships stem from friendship anyway.. i am sure you would all agree with that! |
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Post by demi sex god from hell on Apr 2, 2003 9:53:47 GMT 7
all the women who indepentant, throw your hands up at meeeeeeeeeeee!
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Post by demi sex god from hell on Apr 2, 2003 9:54:42 GMT 7
sorry i have a condition that causes me to post destiny's child lyrics if it reminds me of something.
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Post by .honeyspider. on Apr 2, 2003 10:00:39 GMT 7
my body's too bootylicious for ya! gawd u r like warren haha - hes got a thing for doin that at the weirdest moments!! grrrr men... pffft! |
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Post by SPchick on Apr 2, 2003 10:45:02 GMT 7
muh man is mighty bootylicious.  |
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